The Goosestep – The Fast & The Furious

Welcome back to the Goosestep!
Had a big response to our sinister squad, and with upcoming Fast & Furious movie, I thought why not try this one on for size?

A list of 10 of the quickest players in the NRL WA competitions and we are going to be pairing them with some Racers from the Fast Franchise Family. Some of these players are fast over 40 metres, and some over 100. But I don’t think anyone will disagree that they are all very quick.

Remember this is not a complete list and couldn’t put down everyone.
So here we are in no particular order….

10. Brooke Carroll – South Perth Lions – Women’s League Tag (Mia Torretto)

The “Red Flash” she was coined a couple years ago, burst onto the scene with the Lions and rode the wave all the way to a premiership in 2021, in what was an epic finals encounter with the Roosters. Incredibly fast, she brings the ball back from fullback at top speed and weaves her way in and out of traffic. A noted out and out speedster, she deserves her place on this list. Like Mia Toretto, she knows her way around the field and is a real speedster in our tag form of the game.

9. Luke Turner – Joondaup Giants – Men’s Premiership (Roman Pearce)

“Shreddah” Turner can absolutely fly. While he probably isn’t the speedster these days he once was, you do not want to be giving this guy free air. Adding to his speed, is the fact he is super strong and is a tough assignment for most defenders on any given day. A noted try scorer, he came second in the Grand Final sprint a couple of years ago, and if not for a contentious start could have been declared the winner. Like Roman, he is quick thinking and has no problems letting people around him know that he is quick.

8. Archillies Packer – Rockingham Sharks – Rockingham Juniors (Sean Boswell)

One of the new kids on the block, Archillies starred for the South West Dolphins and his junior club the Rockingham Sharks in previous years, and boy can he move. In one particular game in the Junior Reps season, he was beaten all ends up, turned and chased the players down in the next 15 metres, which shows his acceleration is also first class. Much like Sean Boswell in the Tokyo Drift movies, he still has alot to learn, but already he is showing how dangerous a player he will be in the senior competition.

7. Ariana Ruru-Hinaki – South Perth Lions – Women’s Premiership (Gisele Yashar)

Ariana in a race over 10-20 metres might give the boys a run for their money. Incredibly elusive and with the accelerator dialed up to 100, over short distances she is very tough to stop. Capable of stealing valuable metres from inside the ruck and in amongst all these rugby league giants, she holds her own with breathtaking awareness. Much like Gisele in the movies, she does everything with a touch of class, and makes it look so easy.

6. Joseph Po’uhila – Fremantle Roosters – Men’s Premiership (Luke Hobbs)

Imagine this. 6 foot 4. Over 100kgs easily. And runs like the wind out wide. Nope its not Jonah Lomu. And no its not Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson inside his armoured hummer. Joseph is an absolute force of nature on the edge for the Roosters. Big and powerful, he scored 5 tries in a game last year against the Lions where he basically went the length of the field and showed the rest of the outside backs a clean pair of heels. When Alan Cowan, a noted speedster in his own right, confesses to Po’uhila being too fast for him, then you know the man is quick. Much like Hobbs keeping up with formula one drivers in a truck.

5. Unawin Hooper – Mandurah Storm – Third Grade (Han Lue)

Way down South there is a young kid who can run, but doesn’t make a big fuss about it. He shows up, and plays with his mates because its fun, and then goes about his business without much fuss. He got forced into a sprint down in Albany by his team mates, and won that against some quality opposition, and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Much like Han in the Fast movies, “Uni” just gets it done, cool calm and collected. I’m not even sure he knows how fast he can run if he actually tried, but he is the unassuming speedster.

4. Jeremy Wallace/Kade McDonald – North Beach Sea Eagles – Men’s Premiership (Vince & Jesse)

They form what is undeniably the fastest halves pairing this competition has seen in at least the last decade, but maybe ever. They are almost mirrors of each other in terms of the way they float around the field. Extremely fast, both players are quick, but seem to get faster the longer they run. Wallace in particular has proven his speed in the senior stage, while McDonald is looking to stamp his mark, and quickly by the looks of it. Capable of long range tries, you never are allowed to switch off when either player is near the ball. Much like Vince & Jesse, they form a great team for our Torretto.

3. Travis Haney – Joondalup Giants – Men’s Premiership (Brian O’Connor) 

The American fits in well with this one. An actually running expert, Travis has trained as an actual professional runner in his day, and deserves his spot on this list. A flyer with the best of them, over 40-60 metres, without a football, he is probably going to lead all comers. But don’t think he can’t get it done with the ball either. A devastating prospect when he breaks through the line, he is just going from strength to strength, and remains one of the scariest players in open field this competition has seen in recent times. Much like O’Connor, he is a total professional, clinical, great to watch and a real entertainer at his best.

2. Turiti Galiki-Koiatu – Ellenbrook Rabbitohs – Women’s Premiership (Letty Ortiz)

Its actually amazing that this firebrand from the Ellenbrook Rabbitohs can still really “book”. Much like Letty Ortiz, she was battered bruised and counted out multiple times, with different injuries curtailing her career thus far. But low and behold she is back this year and with a vengance. Seemingly even quicker than she once was, her injury woes appear behind her as she is terrorizing defenders everytime she touches the ball. A dangerous prospect, she is back from the dead, much like Letty herself.

1. Bailey Millar – North Beach Sea Eagles – Men’s Premiership (Dominic Torretto)

In 100 metre straight up race, he might not be the quickest. But on a football field when a rugby league ball is involved he just seems to find a way. Over his short career in seniors he has run down some absolute speedsters, while giving them starts, and has absolutely scored some run away bolters to declare himself as one of the guys to catch in NRL WA. You do not want to give this kids space, and much like Torretto, if you see his tail lights, its normally good night and good luck.

Well there we have it folks! I know we have had some notable admissions but we couldn’t fit everyone on here!
Let us know your thoughts on who should be in the quickest players for NRL WA!